Transitioning from a reactor to an actor

In truth, this evening as I walked 4 miles with my dogs, I reflected upon my own response to step 9. As a result, I chose to look at step 8. The Red Book states (p. 232): "We are sweeping off our side of the street regardless of what another has done or not done. We are giving our parents to God, as we understand God. We are freeing them to their choices and their desires. We are separate from them. They have no power over us just as we have no power over them." & (p. 231) "The ACA Solution states: "When we release our parents from responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors."
These statements instruct me of an important step: Letting Go and Letting God. All these years, I held on to my parents, I tried to fix them (get them to resonate), change them (manipulate them), and blame them for my own actions (behavior). For instance, I kept telling a friend that the reason I say sorry so much is because I had been conditioned to do so growing up. Though if I understand what these statements are saying then I am just making excuses for my wrong doing and placing the blame on them. In other words, I am not taking responsibility hence I am not acting in my life. If I am truly committed to no longer be a reactor, then I must assume my part of responsibility in my own behavior. To be truly honest, the idea that I can let go of my parents by assuming my own responsibility in my behavior is simply freeing. Of course, I am certain many would disagree and claim that by letting go, I can no longer find an excuse for my wrongs. I disagree. I want to be in control of my life, including my behavior. I mean, yeah, I do things I am not pleased with such as saying "sorry" over and over. However, by actually not hiding my behavior by shifting the reason I do so on my parents, I am simply not taking control of my own life. I am indirectly saying they are still affecting me today as if they were telling me to say sorry now. Well, they are not by my side. I am a grown up person who can make her own decisions. If I shouldn't say "sorry" then I don't have to. Of course, it is a habit I picked up growing up and it isn't easy to change a habit though certainly not impossible. I am motivated to change myself hence, I don't want to keep hiding behind excuses for my poor behavior. If I say "sorry" while it may originate from my learning to do so as a child, I now know the difference and I can't keep blaming my parents for doing so.