Letting go and stop fearing peace

A friend pointed out that contrary to my belief, I was not necessarily scared to be happy but scared to find peace. I admit that chaos seems to be my shadow. However, I am proud to say that I made steps toward eradicating "chaos" in my life. Recently, I decided to be honest with myself and stop pitying others. Hence, I had a neighbor who I felt pity for, I asked for my keys back and parted ways. I also chose to say goodbye to a "friend" who is an alcoholic. I suppose I came to realize that trying to go forward when dragging "luggages" (people who are unhealthy) is exhausting and not very effective. I justified my lack of progress by saying I was trying to help them, when in truth I was using them to avoid looking at my own problems. What changed? Well, I am tired of not living my life. I want to go forward and for that to happen, I need to stop my own addiction "getting involved in others' own problem". Surrounding myself with people such as an alcoholic or a loser (neighbor who refuses to help himself) is only holding me back. I made the decision to help myself and as such to part ways with my sickness (surrounding myself with sick people). I comprehend today that saying goodbye to these individuals is not a matter of being selfish but rather a matter of being healthy.