When is it enough?

Let's be real here, being an Adult Child of an alcoholic means many of us still live in the past, terrified to move forward as we don't know how to stop living in fear. I am one to be honest and admit, I live in fear. I am for instance terrified of failure as I wonder if what I heard growing up will become true. I fear I will suck as I was told I was and would continue to be. Hence, I never pushed myself or rather when it came a bit difficult, I chose to give up rather than finding out the outcome. I think now that in some way, my fear has been a false sense of control. I mean by not pushing myself so could avoid the possibility of failure, I thought I was controlling the outcome.
I am certain many of you can relate. Even though we don't like to admit it, we tend to control everything as an attempt to feel safe. For instance, I willingly recognize that I am a control freak in many aspects, as I attempt to feel in control. Why? Because growing up, I never felt in control. I never knew when would my parents blow, when would my mom lose it. I certainly thought if I controlled my behavior I would avoid being hit or yelled at, or simply would avoid getting my mom mad though truly whatever I did never was enough. The message carried on over the years. Today, as I started doing my journey toward my recovery, I need to learn to let go. I simply can't control everything, especially how others will choose to react. In retrospect, I just realized that trying to control others' behavior through mine is manipulating. Hence, I need to admit: "I can't do it alone" nor "is it my responsibility to ensure everyone is happy around me". My real duty is to take care of myself and learn that I need to let go.