The pain languishes/remains

Yesterday, I ended up getting into it with my parents. Within 2 min on the phone with my father, I managed to feel hurt and get angry, I was crying. After trying to calm myself down and have more perspective, I came to realize that at 30 (my birthday was Sunday), I still have deep buried issues with my parents. I still hurt. I feel horrible as I wish to have a relationship with my parents though at same time, I come to accept that it is not healthy for I to be in contacts with them. It hurts to try to communicate with them, I end up feeling "hurt" as I feel "alone" and "abandoned". To top it, my sister admitted that her and my brother are angry at our parents for being so selfish. All to say that what is in the past does not always remain in the past.