Recently, I was reminded to reflect upon "self-esteem" at an Al-anon meeting. Interestingly enough, I was obligated to realize I still have a way to go in that particular domain. I certainly need to work on it. Truth is I tend to still see myself through my parents' eyes: never good enough. As if I still seek their approval and hope to ever make them happy. Truth I came to observe, is I need to cease looking and judge myself based solely off their perception. I am not perfect though I am also not what they choose to project on me. I am not fat, ugly, stupid, selfish. I know better, I just need to look back to my behavior and of others to see how untrue these lies are.
I came to admit I tend to anticipate all possible disastrous outcomes as a mean to be ready to protect myself. As a result, I tend to be on constant alert.
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